Original : " All the main points support the thesis. In section 5.1 it identifies the needs and then suggests solutions to these needs. In section 5.2 introduces technologies to fulfill the needs. It also identifies a list of threats and breaches, in sections 6 and 7, which help to determine the security needs. Section 8 discusses implementation models and architectures that become systems more reliable."
revised : "You have mentioned about the sections but naming the sections would have been better in place of writing like section 5.2 or like that..."
original : " This article will be useful for my writing projects because it proposes a new approach to e-commerce security, which is the topic of my writing project. I can use this new approach to develop a security solution to accomplish security needs. It also provides useful information about security threats and security braches that I can use as an introductory frame."
revised : " how this article will be useful to your writing project "
original : "In section six of the article, the authors mention the security threats of e-commerce. There is no explanation of what each of these threats means."
revised : " few examples of security threats would help the reader "